"Coming G.O.P. Attractions"
Increasingly frustrated with what he calls the "Hollywood power elite" and
its supposedly detrimental effects on contemporary American society,
Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich has commissioned a new series of films
to reflect the new political tone now sweeping across the country as well
as his own personal vision of modern-day America.
Here is your sneak preview at twelve examples of Republicans' idea of cinema
verite, guaranteed to satisfy one and all of today's angry white males and
rabid conservatives...
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o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
o o
o A Cecil B. DeGingrich Film o
o o
o From God's Mouth To Your Wallet... o
o o
o THE TEN COMMANDMENTS II: o
o o
o "The Contract With America" o
o o
o Starring: o
o o
o Newt Dick Frank Ralph Jesse Pat Dan o
o GINGRICH ARMEY LUNTZ REED HELMS ROBERTSON QUAYLE o
o o
o Ronald Bill Rush o
o REAGAN CLINTON LIMBAUGH o
o as The Voice of God as Pharoah as Mt. Sinai o
o o
o Special cameo by CHARLTON HESTON as the Egyptian Arms Trader o
o o
o Filmed In CYNIC-SCOPE o
o o
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
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o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
o o
o "You're Gonna Do It My Way, See!" o
o o
o NEWT GINGRICH *is* o
o o
o "LITTLE CAESAR" o
o o
o A GOP Production o
o o
o Directed by Executive Producer Screenplay by o
o NEWT GINGRICH NEWT GINGRICH NEWT GINGRICH o
o o
o Based on the bestseller o
o "I Don't Want To Be President, I Want To Be Speaker" o
o from Murdoch Books o
o o
o Introducing G. GORDON LIDDY as "The Executioner" o
o o
o Dick Gephardt appears because Firearms courtesy o
o he has no choice The N.R.A. o
o o
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
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o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
o o
o He's On Top Of The World Now, Ma! o
o o
o LOOSE CANNON PRODUCTIONS presents an ANGRY WHITE MALE film o
o o
o JESSE HELMS is red, WHITE and blue HOT in o
o o
o "WHITE HEAT" o
o o
o BILL McCOLLUM as LAMAR ALEXANDER as RUSH LIMBAUGH as o
o "Squeaky" "Mugsy" "Fatso" o
o o
o Bob Phil Pat "B1" Bob Wayne Oliver o
o DOLE GRAMM BUCHANAN DORNAN LaPIERRE NORTH o
o o
o TIMOTHY McVEIGH & THE MICHIGAN MILITIA o
o appear courtesy of MAD DOG CASTING o
o o
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
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o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
o o
o Caught in an 80's time warp, the Starship Revolution II o
o careens toward the 21st century! o
o o
o GOPAC PRODUCTIONS presents o
o a Newt Gingrich/Dick Armey film o
o o
o STAR TREK 104th: o
o THE NEXT GENERATION FOOTS THE BILL o
o o
o Coming Sooner Than You Think! o
o o
o Enjoy tax-free admission! (Wealthy patrons only - o
o No passes for students or seniors) o
o o
o Filmed in SMOKE-AND-MIRRORSVISION o
o o
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
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o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
o o
o Even more wicked & cynical than the '94 Republican crusade! o
o o
o HALEY BARBOUR PRODUCTIONS Presents o
o o
o "FREE WILLY '96: o
o SEND CLINTON HOME" o
o o
o Starring o
o o
o Bob Phil Pat Pete Lamar "B1" Bob o
o DOLE GRAMM BUCHANAN WILSON ALEXANDER DORNAN o
o o
o Newt Bill Rush o
o GINGRICH CLINTON LIMBAUGH o
o as as as o
o The Corporate Whaler The Greenpeace Protester Willy o
o o
o "Self-righteous and narrow-minded...the ideal Christian movie!" o
o - Ralph Reed, The Christian Coalition o
o o
o Filmed In ULTRACONSERVATIVE-SCOPE o
o o
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
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o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
o o
o "Uh, America, we have a problem." o
o o
o TRICKLE-DOWN PRODUCTIONS presents o
o a Frank Luntz film o
o o
o "COLUMBIA 13: THE CONTRACT WITH AMERICA" o
o o
o Caught in an '80s time warp, the Republican "Revolution II" o
o careens toward a catastrophic collision with Middle America! o
o o
o NEWT GINGRICH DICK ARMEY DAN QUAYLE o
o as Cmdr. Lovell as Capt. Swigert as Capt. Haise o
o o
o Introducing ARIANNA HUFFINGTON as MRS. LOVELL o
o o
o THE VOICE OF MISSION CONTROL supplied by RONALD REAGAN o
o o
o "Enough graft, flag-waving and gung-ho senimentality o
o to satisfy even the most demanding conservative!" o
o - Rep. "B1" Bob Dornan o
o o
o Filmed in SMOKE-AND-MIRRORSVISION o
o o
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
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o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
o o
o Can THE G.O.P. EXTREMISTS provoke a FISCAL TRAIN WRECK o
o in order to pass their own ELITIST and MEAN-SPIRITED BUDGET? o
o o
o LOOSE CANNON PRODUCTIONS presents an ANGRY WHITE MALE film o
o o
o "UNDER SIEGE 2: o
o DEMOCRATIC TERRITORY" o
o o
o Featuring o
o o
o Timothy Wayne Rush o
o McVEIGH LaPIERRE LIMBAUGH o
o o
o as The Crazed Reactionary Anarchists o
o o
o "Plenty of dead Feds and gratuitous gunplay.... o
o right-wingers will love it!" - G. Gordon Liddy o
o o
o THE MICHIGAN MILITIA appears ASSAULT WEAPONS o
o courtesy of MAD-DOG CASTING courtesy of THE N.R.A. o
o o
o Filmed in PARANOID CONSPIRACY-SCOPE o
o o
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
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o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
o o
o BEYOND THE HORIZON lies the secret to o
o ZERO TAXES FOR THE WEALTHY! o o o
o PHIL GRAMM and THE GINGRICHITE REPUBLICANS o
o set out to destroy o
o o
o "WASHINGTONWORLD" o
o o
o A GOPAC/MULTI-NATIONAL Production o
o o
o It's the most expensive revolution corporate America o
o ever financed...but boy are they setting pretty now! o
o o
o Based on the bestseller o
o "To Auction Off America" o
o by NEWT GINGRICH o
o o
o Screenplay by THE HERITAGE FOUNDATION o
o o
o Special cameo by CHARLTON HESTON as The Evil Arms Trader o
o o
o Now playing at a country club near you! o
o o
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
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o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
o o
o An upside-down world where brutal, primitive o
o ideologues rule and humans scavenge for subsistence! o
o o
o TRICKLE-DOWN PRODUCTIONS presents o
o a Ronald Reagan film o
o o
o "PLANET OF THE CONSERVATIVE APES" o
o o
o Tom Jim Rush o
o DASCHLE JEFFORDS LIMBAUGH o
o as as as o
o Leo Davidson, Krull, Thade, o
o The Bewildered The Good Evil Ruler o
o Astronaut Gorilla Of The Apes o
o o
o Karl W. Jenna George W. o
o ROVE BUSH BUSH o
o as as as o
o Limbo, Daena, Marky Mark, o
o The Ape The Primitive The Experimental o
o Slave Trader Nubile Human Chimp o
o o
o Special cameo by CHARLTON HESTON as o
o The Dying Conservative Neanderthal o
o o
o Ape Extras appear courtesy Filmed in o
o REP. TOM DELAY SMOKE-AND-MIRRORSVISION o
o o
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
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o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
o o
o Washington, D.C., 2003. A place of lawlessness, rampant o
o political corruption and great unrest. With Operation o
o Iraqi Freedom underway, the country is torn apart and o
o on the brink of chaos. For the inhabitants of America's o
o capital, a war is also raging closer to home... o
o o
o o
o Richard Perle and Paul Wolfowitz present a o
o New American Century film o
o o
o o
o "THE GANGS o
o OF o
o WASHINGTON" o
o o
o o
o George W. Donald Colin Richard Condoleeza o
o BUSH RUMSFELD POWELL CHENEY RICE o
o o
o as as as as as o
o Amsterdam Bill The McGloin William Jenny o
o Vallon Butcher 'Boss' Tweed Everdeane o
o o
o Special Appearance by Cast of a Thousand Thugs o
o TONY BLAIR as Happy Jack courtesy of REP. TOM DeLAY o
o o
o o
o "An Entrancing Achievement...a Sweeping Vision!" o
o - The U.S. Supreme Court o
o o
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
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o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
o o
o An epic adventure of Evil against Evil set in a o
o time of uncertainty in the land of the Middle-East. o
o o
o o
o GOP Films presents a o
o Bill Kristol Production o
o o
o o
o "BORED OF THE WINGNUTS: o
o THE TWIN TOWERS" o
o o
o o
o George W. Saddam Gen. Tommy George H.W. o
o BUSH HUSSEIN FRANKS BUSH, SR. o
o o
o as as as as o
o Frodo The Sinister Human Warrior Once Great o
o Hobbitt Wormtongue Aragorn King Theoden o
o o
o Special Cameo by Weapons of Mass o
o THE BUSH TWINS Destruction courtesy o
o as Eowyn and Elf Arwen THE N.R.A. o
o o
o Filmed In ULTRACONSERVATIVE-SCOPE o
o o
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
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o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
o o
o o
o One of them is lying. So is the other. o
o o
o GEORGE W. BUSH and SADDAM HUSSEIN o
o o
o in o
o o
o "HOW TO LOSE A WAR IN 10 DAYS" o
o o
o A Shock & Awe/Running Deficit/ o
o Halliburton presentation o
o o
o o
o Laura George W. Saddam Karen Dick o
o BUSH BUSH HUSSEIN HUGHES CHENEY o
o o
o as as as as as o
o Andie Benjamin Tony Spears The Boss o
o Anderson Barry o
o o
o Based Upon a Short Story Screenplay by o
o by PAUL WOLFOWITZ THE HERITAGE FOUNDATION o
o o
o A Trickle-Down Productions Film o
o o
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
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o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
o o
o WELCOME TO A WORLD WITHOUT TAXES... o
o o
o Offshore Drilling Films and o
o Bomb Iran Entertainment o
o present a o
o Karl Rove production o
o o
o "THE DARK LIBB'RUL" o
o o
o o
o Barrack George W. John Hillary Rudy Dick o
o OBAMA BUSH McCAIN CLINTON GIULIANI CHENEY o
o o
o as as as as as as o
o o
o Bruce Wayne/ The Dist. Atty. Rachel Scarecrow Crime o
o Batman Joker Harvey Dent/ Dawes Boss o
o Two-Face o
o o
o o
o Special Cameos by CGI Effects Completion Thugs' o
o BRITNEY SPEARS & by Guarantee Weapons o
o PARIS HILTON Swiftboat Underwritten by courtesy o
o as Barbara Gordon Veterans Exxon/Mobil The NRA o
o & Natascha For Truth o
o o
o Screenplay by "More action than Larry Craig's bathroom stall, o
o The Republican the ultimate movie for conservatives!" o
o National Committee - Rush Limbaugh o
o o
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
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The Reich-Wing Republican Joke Page