"Anti-GOP Taglines"
"The elephant is the perfect symbol for Republicans: they never forget, lead
each other around by the tail, and think everyone should work for peanuts."
"The Republican National Committee has announced it's changing the emblem of
the Republican Party - from an elephant to a condom. The Republican National
Chairman explained that the condom more clearly reflects the Party's current
stance... owing to the fact that a condom accepts inflation, halts
production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and
gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed. Please make
certain your Republican friends make the appropriate changes on any of their
campaign literature."
"Republicans are good for one thing: getting elected every 30 or 40 years so
people can be reminded how terrible they are." - Bob Shrum
Little kid got on the school bus today wearing a T-shirt with the slogan
"Proud to be a Democrat." Bus driver asked why he was a Democrat and the kid
said "Because my parents are Democrats." "So," said the bus driver, "What if
your parents were lying, biblethumping, perverted hypocrites? Then what?" The
kid replied: "Then we'd be Republicans."
"Much has already been published about the sex life of former President Clinton.
However, little has been reported on the sexual practices of the current
Commander-in-Chief. It has recently been learned that the President and Mrs.
Bush only do it with Laura Bush on top since George W. Bush can only fuck up."
Rush: omni-ignorant (ignorant on all subjects)
Rush: a kinder and gentler Nazi
"Pat Buchanan wants a blinder, more Gentile nation." - Dennis Miller
"The Religious Right scares the *hell* out of me." - Sen. Barry Goldwater
(R-AZ, ret.)
"A conservative is a man who wants the rules changed so that no one can make a
pile the way he did." - Gregory Nunn
"Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are
conservatives." - John Stuart Mill
"If guns are outlawed, how will conservatives win any arguments?" - Unknown
"Guns don't kill people -- it's those nasty little bullets!"
"Whin guns er outlawed only da gubbermint will have guns!"
"I'm not worried about the bullet with my name on it... just the thousands out
there marked 'Occupant.'" - Unknown
"The modern conservative is engaged in one of man's oldest exercises in moral
philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for
selfishness." - John Kenneth Galbraith
"If the Republicans will stop telling lies about the Democrats, we will stop
telling the truth about them." - Adlai Stevenson (1900-1965)
The conservative credo: "Mister, we could use a man like Herbert Hoover
again..."
"The Republican Convention opened with a prayer. If the Lord can see his way
to bless the Republican Party the way it's been carrying on, the the rest of
us ought to get it without asking." - Will Rogers, 1928
"Facts are stupid things." - Ronald Reagan
"I would have voted against the Civil Rights Act of 1964." - Ronald Reagan
"If you've seen one redwood, you've seen them all." - Ronald Reagan
"Why should we subsidize intellectual curiosity?" - Ronald Reagan
"I still think Nancy does most of his talking; you'll notice that she never
drinks water when Ronnie speaks." - Robin Williams, _Playboy_, 1982
"Reagan's platform seems to be: 'Hey, I'm a big friendly guy and I need lots
of sleep.'" - Roy G. Blount
"Reaganomics, that makes sense to me. It means if you don't have enough money,
it's because poor people are hoarding it." - Kevin Rooney, _GQ_, 1984
"I believe that Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was--an
arctic region covered with ice." - Steve Martin, 1980
"Ronald Reagan was the least knowledgeable president I ever met." - Rep.
Thomas P. "Tip" O'Neill Jr. (1912-1994)
"If Reagan had run unopposed, he would have lost." - Mort Sahl
"Ronald Reagan is a triumph of the embalmer's art." - Gore Vidal
"If Reagan's the answer, it must have been a very silly question." - Anonymous
Republicans: "Only the SOS should happen."
W.H.I.N.E. - The Conservative Broadcasting System
Call the conservative hotline: 1-800-WHINE.
The NRA Loaner: because when you need a gun, 5 days is a LONG LONG time!
"By our readiness to allow arms to be purchased at will and fired at whim, we
have created an atmosphere in which violence and hatred have become popular
pastimes." - Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
"With all the violence and murder and killings we've had in the United States,
I think you will agree that we must keep firearms from people who have no
business with guns." - Robert F. Kennedy, May 1968
I carry in my mind...a world with an unborn JERRY FALWELL!
"This isn't a man who is leaving with his head between his legs." - Dan Quayle
"Rush Limbaugh stole my whole act." - Howard Stern
A gun kills a child every two hours. - The Children's Defense Fund
Conservatism: The worship of dead revolutions.
"I do not make 'ad hominem' attacks on Clinton. They all deal with policy --
or character." - Rush Limbaugh/"The Flush Rush Quarterly"
"Women should not be allowed to serve on a jury..." - Rush Limbaugh
Q: What are "feminazis"?
A: "Ugly women who can't get dates." - Rush Limbaugh
Q: What is a "Rush Limbaugh"?
A: "A fat man who can't get laid." - Feminazis
How cold is it? People were seen huddling around Bob Dole to keep warm!
"I have told you time and time again the only information highway you need is
this radio show." - Rush Limbaugh
"Any fool can make a rule, and every fool will mind it." - Henry David Thoreau
"I was not lying. I said things that later on seemed to be untrue." - Richard
Nixon
I'm straight, but not narrow: support gay rights.
Practice safe Net surfing: wait, get educated, & stay liberal.
We have less than 5 billion years left: REPENT!
Republican Health Care Plan: marry a Canadian.
"It's a sport in this town to ruin people's lives." - V. Foster
Draw this peanut: become an NRA member!
Go Limbaugh, and leave the thinking to Rush!
Tractor pulls: (n.) Events for people who are smarter than Rush Limbaugh.
"Manly yes, but Rush likes it too!"
"What would a Bob Dole presidency be like? Boring." - Mario Cuomo
"All government bothers my conscience." - Jerry Brown
"God doesn't have a legislative agenda." - Colin Powell
Phil Gramm's a 7.2 on the sphincter scale.
The GOP: "A rising tide lifts all yachts."
"You *must* have that child...so we can starve it!" -- The GOP
ROTFL: Rave On, Torrid Firearms Lovers!
Gingrich, Limbaugh & McVeigh, Inc. - "We cynicize, agitate & demolish."
Conservatism: The worship of dead revolutions.
GOP vision: "The United States of Pottersville"
104th Congress to America: "Was it good for you?"
Oink if you like Rush!
The NRA loaner: Because when you need a gun, 5 days is a LONG time!
Conservatives are REICH wing.
Rush is REICH.
No Newt is good Newt.
Gingrich Health Plan: Instant divorces for dying cancer patients.
Go Limbaugh...and leave the thinking to Rush!
"The public be damned, I work for my stockhholders!" - C. Vanderbilt
GOP 1980: Voodoo economics. GOP 1995: Deja-voodoo economics.
FLUSH RUSH & NUKE NEWT
Clinton: briefs Packwood: Boxer's
What reeks in here? Oh yeah, the conservatives.
Gingrich Welfare Plan: $4.5 million book deals for all inner-city youths.
NASCAR: "Non-Athletic Sports Created Around Rednecks"
The Reich-Wing Republican Joke Page